Don Eulogy

Don Eulogy Ladies and Gentlemen, A guy called Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: ‘The purpose of life is to be useful, honorable, compassionate, and to make some difference, so that you have lived, and lived well’. And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is John Donald Rowland, so let’s find out why.

Don was born on 17 July 1932 in Dagenham, Essex. His father was a welder, working for Ford Motor Cars, and his mother was, as usual back then, a housewife. He had one sister, Maureen, who sadly passed away a few years ago.

Don’s parents were not quite right for each other and perhaps it wasn’t the happiest of households, with the family moving around the country due to the father shifting job to job.

At the outbreak of WW2, Don’s father was in a preserved occupation and therefore exempted from military service so they moved around even more. Living in London during WW2 no-one was far from risk, and when at Whitton their house next door was demolished by an oil bomb.

So, a hard time for Don and his sister Maureen, continually moving from house to house, and eventually seeing their parent’s divorce.

All who knew Don would describe him as an intelligent and thinking man, but his true academic potential was never fulfilled. Moving around so much he had a poor education, never settling into a classroom rhythm. He actually passed his exams for Grammar School – as did his son Bill – but yet more house moves and an evacuation to Wales, meant he never quite made it, and stayed in the Secondary Education system, leaving school at 14.

Growing up at this time during the Blitz, Don was very much the typical ‘lad’ – playing in bombed out houses and craters, building secret den’s from broken timbers, skipping school to go fishing, and generally having lots of adventures. How different for our modern children! With his chum Arthur one game you might not play today was finding and dismantling unexploded incendiary bombs – often lying round and hadn’t gone off.

Don and Arthur thought it was a good wheeze to remove – by hand ladies and gentlemen - the fuzes of these dud bombs, extract the incendiary magnesium and uses boxes of matches to set them alight. This must have been very confusing for the emergency services, and it’s remarkable how he and Arthur didn’t manage to blow each other up, isn’t it?

On top of all that, money and food were tight, and so Don took up various odd jobs to help his mum make ends meet. Anyway, that’s very much Don’s WW2 up to when he was evacuated to a village with an unpronounceable name in West Wales – along with his sister and best chum Arthur.

There he had a different kind of time, with rural chores, endless exploring with Arthur, and looked after by a strict temporary foster family. After 9 months Don’s mum perhaps recognized that Don was unhappy, and so brought him alone back to London, leaving Maureen in Wales. This was just in time for Don to experience the V1 buzz-bombs flying overhead, the sound of jet engines stopping, the silent descent and then explosion, often not far away. Unpleasant sights for a 12-year-old boy. Anyway – on VE Day – the day war in Europe ended, Don was – surprise surprise – off camping again with Arthur, raft building and fishing.

On the train home they were confused by all the celebrations, but after figuring out what it was and having a few hours kip, they joined in the celebrations with gusto. At this time, Don was 13, his parents were getting divorced, and Don wanted to join the Royal Navy, so he signed up at the Charing Cross Recruitment Centre, packed his bags and in January 1947 found himself on a train to the New Entry Training Establishment at Gosport - HMS St Vincent.

All this before his 15th birthday ladies and gentlemen! And so to the Navy, and one of the most formative times of Don’s life. Don had always been happiest on or near the water, so at HMS St. Vincent he expected good times but of course this was wrong. New Entry training is demanding and tough, even at the best of times. Still, he was well paid – receiving a princely 28 shillings per week! Whilst there Don learned to box – something called Milling. He wasn’t good at it initially, but a chef whispered in his ear a good tip that he never forgot.

Basically his opponent would be as scared as he was, so get in first with a good whack, then keep at it. Very handy for Don’s later adventures in Hong Kong! The guy giving the tip later became a world class boxer, so it was simple but good advice! Whilst there, Don also learned to play the hornpipe and performed at various shows including the Albert Hall.

Did anyone here today ever hear Don perform on the hornpipe? No? Well apparently that would be a blessing! 3 Anyway, Don found all this a hard but good life, which seemed to get easier towards the end of basic training. For his first job he was sent to HMS Pembroke at Chatham Barracks, and then to his first ship, the enormous Cruiser HMS Superb, part of the Royal Navy Home Fleet. He was in the Seamanship Department and loader on a twin 4” gun.

Don loved this introduction to the ‘Real Navy’ and had a marvellous Commanding Officer in the form of the future Admiral of the Fleet Sir Michael Le Fanu. Would you believe in Chatham, Sir Michael came down to the boy seaman’s mess, mustered them all on the jetty, and marched them to a pub where he bought them all a pint.

Totally illegal of course and not one of them, Don included, was over 18! Great stuff! Don loved his new naval life at sea, the adventure, visiting different countries, the runs ashore, all of it. In his own words – it was all he had ever hoped for, and more. So, from here Don was promoted from Boy Seaman to Ordinary Seaman, and after qualifying with flying colours as a Gunner he was sent to HMS Cossack – a ship patrolling off Korea in the newly started Korean War.

Getting there was fun. A troop ship took him to Singapore, then another to Hong Kong, and so started Don’s love of all things ‘Far East’. Arriving at HMS Cossack, Don slung his hammock and the ship took him to a freezing cold North Korea, bombarding the enemy coast.

First time in action. A little later, somebody in Hong Kong wanted a ‘swap draft’ so Don left HMS Cossack and joined the Hong Kong Flotilla – a group of small ships patrolling Hong Kong waters, intercepting smugglers, and generally protecting UK interests from the Chinese Communist intrusions.

Don’s boat was a Motor Launch, 80ft long, a crew of 12, and armed with multiple heavy armaments, and all the crew armed with a personal side pistol and a machine gun of their own. The weapons were needed, and this was the real business! For example, just a few months after Don left, his friends on a different boat – ML 1323 – were attacked by a Chinese communist gunboat on the Pearl River. It was a huge diplomatic incident that killed 7 of the 12 crew, and could have led to war. The Hong Kong Flotilla Association – represented here today – gather yearly to commemorate this incident, and others like it. 4 Anyway, Don found in this naval life, and again to quote his own words - A small boat, my own job and a small happy crew - ‘My Idea of Heaven’! Doesn’t that define Don’s ideals in his later years as well?

So here he was, loving the life. Working intensely with his shipmates in and out on patrol, stopping, boarding and searching vessels, catching smugglers. And he became a ship’s diver. All at the tender age of 18! And we haven’t mentioned yet the shore life. Apparently, a book called ‘The World of Suzy Wong’ sums it up. Don became well known locally and thanks to learning in earlier years how to ‘swing a punch’ became a part time bouncer, of sorts, in local clubs and bars, paid for his efforts through copious quantities of free drinks!

Nothing wrong with that! Don reflected back on that time as among his happiest, and shares memories of it all through his and Maggie’s very long standing membership of the Hong Hong Flotilla Association, represented here today. Along with his very good friend Peter Yeates, Don helped with much of the administration and was the Association Newsletter Editor. Don’s next draft, after 2 ½ years in Hong Kong, was to the Aircraft Carrier, HMS Glory, for the journey home to the UK.

On arrival home Don’s mother met him on the jetty and arranged a big homecoming party. After all he was just about to turn a tender 21! He then undertook training to become a Gunnery Office Writer. Considering the size of Don and his huge digits he proved to be surprisingly adept at touch typing, with nimble fingers and good English!

Whilst there, the most important thing in Don’s life happened when a married course-mate took him home for the weekend and it was there – around round a foursome dinner date, that Don met the true love of his life, Maggie! As Don said: ‘The lady they invited was my dream’! Love at first sight and soon married. Life was on the up and the right time to leave the navy!

So, Don served his final tour on HMS Diamond, a modern destroyer, based with the Mediterranean Fleet in Malta. So on December 10, 1954, Don and Maggie were married in New Cross Registry Office, and soon after Don returned to his ship in Malta. In his own words, getting married was ‘the best thing I ever did’.

They didn’t have much money at that time, but they were so happy, and after a while were thrilled to welcome their son Bill into the world. 5 Don eventually returned to the UK with his ship, knowing that Maggie would be at the Chatham dockside to welcome him with their new baby son Bill. But – Don Looked hard – and Maggie and Bill were nowhere to be seen because somebody had got their dates mixed up. As all married men know, it is always the husbands fault doing this – our wives never, ever get a date wrong, do they?

So, soon after this, in July 1957, Don was demobbed and became a civilian looking in the post-war world for some form of gainful employment. That wasn’t easy. First, he worked for a while for Trinity House Services abord the Motor Vessel MV Patricia. Not great as there seemed to be a shortage of food and pay. So, time to move on!

After that, multiple jobs for Don, trying to find a niche for him and his family. He worked at a Medical Centre dealing with Nervous and Psychological Issues. Don found that the doctor there had psychological issues of his own, and so Don left before he started getting them too! After this, with Don, Maggie and Bill now living in Barnes, Don became a lock assistant at Richmond Lock, then soon after was offered a post as Piermaster at Hammersmith Pier.

Don loved this type of work. It was after all on the water, and now he was starting to find his post-navy feet! Around this time, Don tried to help the family finances by doing extra ‘moonlighting’ jobs such as painting/decorating, and through this met actors and artists Phil and Ginny, who became great lifelong friends.

Now working on the Thames, Maggie’s father informed Don of a boathouse being built at Putney that needed an assistant supervisor. Don applied for this and of course got the job. He was in!

At this time, he became a Waterman – a necessary credential for anyone working on the river, and so started another amazing phase of Don and Maggie’s lives. The club was brand new, and for some of the older boatmen in other rowing clubs further along the Putney ‘Hard’ there was perhaps a little distrust of these non-rowing newcomers, envy even, and it took time for Don to get to know them and gain their respect.

And gain their trust, liking and respect they did. In full! 6 So, a little later, Tom Phelps, a very well-known and respected ‘Gentleman of the River’ approached Don and explained that Barclays Bank were building another new boathouse just next to his, in a central position on the Putney Embankment. Might Don like to apply for the job?

He did, and both he and Maggie were interviewed all the way up to the Chairman of Barclay’s Bank, Sir Timothy Bevan, for the prestigious position of Barclays Bank ‘Rowing and Sailing Club’ Boatman.

A gorgeous building, state of the art facilities, and a stunning large apartment with a roof garden for them on the top floor overlooking the Thames. How could they possibly say no? The boathouse opened to much fanfare in 1966, and this led to the time through to retirement that Don describes as ‘The happiest years of our lives’.

Lovely. Don looked after the many rowing and sailing boats, conducted repairs, prepped for competitions and so much more. Maggie meanwhile looked after the social side – running the bar, arranging club and Barclays Branch parties, preparing the most enormous buffets for everyone.

A magnificent team effort, and with much assistance too from their son, Bill. Bill would operate as Cox’n for some of the competitions, and assistant Boatman getting boats in and out of the water – all for everincreasing amounts of pocket money of course!

A very challenging yearly task at the Putney Boathouse was to host the Cambridge Rowing Team for the annual Oxford/Cambridge Boat race. What an exciting thing this was for Don and Maggie. Prepping the boats, crews running about, the BBC setting up on the roof, Royal Visitors rolling in and out, dances at other clubs in the Midlands and NatWest boat houses, HUGE PARTIES. MORE PARTIES.

Another big annual event – the Head of the River Race. And so it went on and on, and what a life they led. Competitions were held around the country, and so they became quite mobile.

A lovely annual event was the Henley Regatta. Barclay’s Bank would enter their rowing team in the competition and, with luck, would be knocked out in the first heat to give much more time for socializing and still more partying! In all this they became well known on the rowing and sailing scene and made so many friends. Life was full of meeting people, and sharing club news, scandals, results and gossip.

All this was done among people who had spent their lives, and sometimes for generations before them, in this unique and special world. 7 Mark Innes, one of the Rowing Team from those days, tells us: ‘I will never forget Don’s sense of humour, and his look of ‘What have you done now’ when I was volunteered to explain why another part of a boat had been broken! He will live long in my memory’.

Thank you Mark. Another rower – the former team captain Bill Arthur, said last week of Don: ‘I can never handle a piece of sanded wood without hearing Don’s warning about not allowing natural oils to go from my hand into the wood’! He also said that: ‘Don was a true original, and will be remembered fondly by all those who knew him, and those he helped, coached, and kept safe’. What a wonderful tribute! In 1971, Don was selected to be the Boatman for the British Olympic Rowing Team at the 1972 Munich Olympics. What a privilege and honour!

They prepped in St. Moritz, and then there was Don in Munich staying in the Olympic Village with the team, and Maggie in town at a lovely hotel. Some here today will know this, and others won’t, but at those Olympics there was a massacre of Israeli Olympic Athletes by the Palestinian terrorist group Black September. A mass murder and eventual shootout.

Don was very near that, and whilst speaking to Maggie by phone, Maggie could hear all the gunshots in the background. Anyway, from this, maybe the greatest privilege of all – an invitation by HM Queen Elizabth’s Royal Bargemaster to become a Queen’s Waterman!

What an honour! Don was interviewed by the Queen’s Comptroller and became one of just 23 Royal Watermen performing their many duties whenever the Royal Family were on the Thames, and as Boxmen on the Royal Carriages during State Occasions. Don attended a total of 44 state visits and occasions - yes 44 - through to his retirement in 1992, when he then became an ‘Extra-Waterman’ to the Queen.

Through this Don and Maggie were presented to the Queen, Prime Minister Tony Blair and attended two Royal Garden Parties at Buckingham Palace etc. Unforgettable and amazing! On Don’s Casket you will see two caps and his medals.

The white Royal Navy cap is from HMS Tamar in Hong Kong, kindly brought to us by the HKFA. The other is a Waterman cap, very kindly loaned from St James’ Palace to the Company of Watermen and Lightermen of the River Thames, and from there to here. So very kind for both of these to be provided.

On Don’s very last day at the Boathouse before retirement, he saw two foolish young men, probably drunk, attempting to swim across the river. Don went out immediately in a boat he had built and literally saved their lives, pulling one of them by his hair out from well under the water. Wow. So, retirement beckoned, and then a few years of quieter life was enjoyed at their home in Sutton.

A few years on from that, and a move down here to Highcliffe in their lovely home next door to my Mother Mavis’s home. Still, they definitely weren’t taking the quiet life option, and stayed very busy catching up with their many friends in the HKFA, Watermen, and new friends locally, and sailing around the UK and Europe with their very good friends from Barclay’s days - Pat and Norman, and their team.

Their son Bill has his own business in London and often visits, along with his two children Ben and Jodie, and Jodie’s two gorgeous little boys Freddie and Joey. Don and Maggie were so proud talking of their lovely son, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Overall, Don and Maggie were so fortunate to have a very long and active retirement together, and share so much with family, and so many great friends. It’s probably fair to say that Don’s health deteriorated more in the past 3 or 4 years with increasing blindness, deafness and a lot of internal issues. He was so incredibly brave dealing with all that and really never, ever complained.

But through this, Maggie was there for her Don, with him at every step and always by his side. So, Ladies and Gentlemen, forgive the length of this Eulogy but there is so much in Don’s unique and special life to tell. Superlatives are so easy to throw around, but Don was truly a great man. Kind, gentle, modest, courageous and, perhaps above all, the very nicest of men that anyone could have wished to be with.